July 2009
“And perhaps you might pretend, afterwards, that it was only a trick and that you...”
Everyday,bluebird comes down and stares at me for...
Current mood: complacent
can’t figure out.
heh well man,this weekend sucked balls.
i mean it really did. highlights were when i got to stand around outside at IU before yet another general assembly at convention.
getting home was bad and things are always the same here.
but it was...
i used to think →
“I used to think that things like rocks and buildings and my own skeleton were fairly solid. But they’re made up of atoms, and atoms, as you can see here, contain so little actual material that they can barely be said to exist.
We are all phantoms.”
Birds vs Worms by Modest Mouse
self pity me so pitiful
You can see that birds and worms don’t get along
self righteous me so wrong
You can see that we don’t have to get along
self pity me so pitiful
You can see that birds and worms do not agree
and we will crawl
Chaplin's lifelong attraction to younger women...
Current mood: crazy
i don’t know.
i guess this is what i really wanted but i shouldn’t have been a fucktard and thought that i actually knew what i wanted!
hahahahahaha!
jokes on me.
what ever man,i’m getting mine no matter what.
fuck this.
habitat
“I don’t want a home, I’d ruin that Home is where my habits have a habitat.”
this time last year was a different thing all...
hey chingchong, i heard you were gone.
i’ll be gone too, in a day or two.
remember we used to be much better friends.
i remember.
i know →
Just tell me how and I’ll please you for free
STAGGGGGGGGGGNANNNNNNTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTT
so i’m jealous over pictures of someone i never even call (because i don’t like phones)
I”m sorry if the stories are sad, ok? but they’re really not, they’re just silly things that don’t go away.
i keep looking but i can’t see anything, i don’t snap out of it, i don’t snap into action (inactivty...
sebastian is a drug cat,sniffin’ purses
I want everyone around me I want the love i thought i had way back when i want what i think i can get as soon as i get out because i need this i need this and i can’t do this because its too much work but somehow i have to change and i dont know how to at all but i need it i need so i need help. i need some help.
she made a small sound,like a baby animal and i...
I waited until i couldn’t stand it anymore and so I walked and walked past Everyone.
turned and walked, so glad that my legs were walking for me.
I saw a chapel high in the air. hanging high from a string like it didn’t belong there.
and I kept going till i reached the doors, heavy wooden doors all of them set into stone, locked tightly like eyes clamped shut
ignoring my...
sending letters to the wrong address...
Current mood: cold
So now I’m gone and I see that I am never quite doing things the way I want to do them. So many things I still want to do, I want to follow my impulses, to kiss and to hold people, to have more chances. I can never resist one more chance and I can never let someone just...
no where to go.
Current mood: scared
where did every one go?
!
The Lengths by The Black Keys
Tell me where you’re goin’
Or what is going wrong
I felt you leavin
Before you’d even gone
Hold me now
Or never ever hold me again
No more talk
Can take me from this pain I’m in
(Pain I’m in)
See the moonlight shinin’
On your window pane
See it leave you
As faithful as it came
Please yourself
So you don’t have to be afraid
Make amends
Or...
I guess you were right,
the real reason,
is
i’m too sad to pretend anymore.
it’s too sad for pretending now.
that is,
the Real Reason
How to Start Over Again:
The day is done,
I’m feeling so (wrong)
with all the things
we had to do.
And when the sun comes
you can’t blame it
cuz you’re ashamed
and I am (new)
Cuz if you wish it
it IS true
I always wish it
and it’s
true.
You’ll be paid in Attention.
Just go ahead and tell me what you’re really thinking.
It’s ok if you don’t think I want to hear it,
don’t you think we will both feel much better
at the end of it all?
if you’d rather not say anything at all, then thats ok too,
because words are easy to forget
espsecially if you don’t really mean them.
they’re just words.
just do me this one...
You don’t have to be afraid of the dark
And she never liked to hold hands because it represented memories
of not knowing where you were
of not having to know
of being safe in someone you trust
and letting your heart go
I can dream about you
L SHAPED ROOM. I AM ASLEEP. A WOMAN WRAPS ME IN BANDAGES. THERE IS THE BIGGEST INSECT STINGY BASTARD I EVER SEEN IN THE OTHER SIDE OF THE ROOM. WE ARE TOO SCARED TO KILL IT. AND IT WILL NOT LEAVE. well, anyway. i gotta go + liedown
You can find another man
Sitting with your legs splayed On the last step of the stair
Watching raindrops dropping Dust it shimmers in the air
Fingertip is tracing Every single groove and crease
Along the tiles and banister it shudders and it creaks
Leading and you follow fabric drags along the floor
taking neatly with it grains of sand and feelings sore
not until the last minute.
He had that sweet boy look
Like you wanted to take care of him
Like you wanted to take him to bed
To sleep
To hold him at night
And whisper
“i love you”
Into his feathery hair
Until the windows brightened
Until the morning mist had all but burned away
Until he woke up
And asked you
To tie him to the bedposts
Coffee Shop
Meeting in a Coffee Shop,they both sat down.
Thoughts entered and escaped my mind like frantic ants on a rotten banana.
(in and out)
The music began to play.
As I watched them dance they became something else, and so did I.
Something wonderful.
Something horrible.
Alaskan chills ran through me,my body it shivered slightly, jarring the coffee in my Cup.
What a show.
Grab my heart,drench...
The Sun is
When the sun is here it is
warm very, warm
When the sun is shining it is
good very, good
When you’re in the sunlight it is
bright oh god so bright
but when it comes,the shadow
and when he turns away
you suddenly grow
so very, very cold
and nothing keeps its color.
That’s it
i had a dream last night with you in it and i can tell it to you without you being creeped out its awesome
well anyway it’s really vague now cuz it was this morning but i know that in the dream i hadn’t seen you in years and we had drifted apart and i was like a 30 year old me
and i worked in an office well i was working in an office so basically this dream was all...
Is it snowing
I don’t have to be afraid
So tell me why then, am I shaking
I don’t have to tell the truth
So tell me why then are you faking
And everytime you feel its going wrong
all you have to say
is that i need you
and everytime they say that I’ve done wrong
all I try to say is that
i miss you
Everybody else is moving
and i’m the only one left standing here
I thought...
mellow.gif
what is it
it’s that one thing that makes it shitty day.
it’s that fucking bad news phone call when you were about to go take a shower and
that look you got
when you thought you said the right thing
it was the last time you said you would do that
and the first time you meant it
it was the last time I heard you
and the first time I listened
the last time he saw you that way...
walks,talks,yodels
I remember blue skies
Always falling by the side
Every time you followed me down
I remember car rides
All those times that you threw up
Every time you followed me down
I remember tough guys
Always trying to play the fool
Every time you followed me down
I remember tube socks
How we thought that we were cool
Every time you followed me down
And I remember Spy Fox
All those times...
so what had happened
well, I know that I am bad
but i don’t know how to change it
if i tried my hardest to be better
would you love me, could you love me
though i know that i am bad
Yeah i thought i was ok
till you came and you made me let you take my lies away
yes i cried when you took them
yeah it made me pretty mad
because they’re all i ever had
I know that i make problems
and i know that...
you’re running away.
“She’s sick ok? Why don’t you call and act like you give a shit? Why don’t you act like a daughter?”
everything seems to hurt a lot right now
and i don’t know what is right anymore.
A Painting in an Empty Room
I feel like Dorian Grey.
I don’t want anyone to find my painting
but for some reason,
I never lock my doors.
Fortunately, no one frequents these halls
Fortunately, no one visits these rooms
Fortunately, this mansion of my thoughts
crumbles empty and hollow
as I crouch paralyzed within the innermost chamber,
worried to death of footsteps
No One Likes To Share
Don’t ever say that you love me
cuz i wont be the only one
to wipe your tears away
Don’t ever say that you love me
cuz i wont be the only one
that promises to stay
and if i had my way
we’d make love everyday
then i bet you’d have some love
to share with me
but dont ever say that you love me
if youll just be another one
who promises to stay
don’t ever...
Who was on the phone?
PLEASE COME OUT.
you’re not sure who to believe in
when you are feeling very sore
you are aching
you cant keep crying anymore
you can’t tell what you are hearing
they’ll be leaving you all alone
you are twitching
shifting and muffling the moan
Why are you afraid of the dark
when light reveals all of your flaws
glad to meet you
now won’t you please remove your...
My Memory Dies in You
My memory dies in you
for a moment
Everything is clear
My darkness lies in you
when you leave
it seems i dissappear
for you and me
will never die inside my heart
no you and me
still stay alive inside my heart
and when everythings get scary
i’ll be holding on
to see you through
Finally when you desert me
i’ll be crying loud
to sing you through
won’t you take me home
wont you...
something new
I don’t know if you know this, but
you’ve hurt my feelings in the past
maybe I expected too much but
you were not a good friend to me
when all i did was try to be one to you
after all of that it wasn’t an issue
i forgave without even a word (to my face) from you on the subject
i have been trying to heal up where my heart hurt
for a lot of things
it has been different for me lately
and...
sometimes
Sometimes i feel like This
sometimes my heart fills up with hate, so much, that i don’t even like looking at people or hearing anyone speak i fight the urge to say anything because i know no one cares.
i feel like everything is cheapened everyone(who used to be so beautiful) looks disgusting to me. ugly. i can’t find anyone i’d like to be around and i want to kill myself
the...
Discretion by Pedro the Lion
having no idea that his youngest son was dead the farmer and his sweet young wife slept soundly in his bed
in the shadow of the mountain as the cattle hung their heads
grazing only feet from where the broken body lay and would lay undiscovered for another several days
when the farmer would find vultures at their banquet in the hay
the killer traveled eastbound in a golden brown sedan weighing...
Tell Me a Song
Tell me a song, you don’t have to say it twice
We won’t travel long if you take my advice
That we move at a run and soon you’ll see
We’ll get this thing done on time
Tell me a song, you don’t have to say it right
We’ll move right along if you take my advice
That we go at a run and soon you’ll see
We’ll get this thing done as soon as can be
Tell me...
What You’re Talking About
Tell me what you know about this I don’t even know the question
Does it hurt to be alone? Are you tired of hearing, “now you’re on your own” ? Do you think that you can help, when it’s evident you cannot help yourself?
Tell me what you know about this I don’t even know the question
Speak up, You’re talking slow Can you stand for things you do not...
Own
When you told me to leave, you’ll notice that I left I’m sure you thought that you’d find me sitting out on the steps Cuz you’d never believe, that finally I’m not a little kid with toys in a suitcase
I didn’t know it before but I’m sure of it now I’ve never loved because you never showed me how So when you hire a shrink Remember that I think...
You Say
You say Things will be better when I’m older
But I know I’m just a big disappointment
You say I will know better when I’m older
But I know I’m just a big disappointment
Why would you try to stop me When you know you can’t
Why don’t you try to love me it wouldn’t be a change
of heart it’d only be a start
to what you know you should have done
They Spit in Your Face and You’re Supposed to...
The Prophet Muhammad (sallaAllahu ‘alayhi wasallam) was sitting with a group of the sahabah (RAA) [companions] in the masjid and he said “A man will now enter who is from the people of Jannah.” [people guaranteed entrance to heaven] and a sahabi walked in. Later it happened again, and then a third time. ‘Abdullah ibn ‘Amr ibn al-‘aas (RAA) wanted to find out...
